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on not really directing proper

once upon a time, I tried to be proper and efficient and have a plan. you know, shot list, things to try, positions for me to get into, poses for the models to get into. and looking back on the stuff I did a while ago,... yes I cringe,... and die a little inside. 

It wound up stressing me out,... to the point that I would be too busy wasting time trying to not waste time with what I thought it should be,... at the expense of what could really have been. 

Somewhere along the way I realized that something was broken,... so I stopped trying.

I lie,... kind of,... I was fresh out of ideas,... and walking into a shoot,... is how it really was.

And perhaps most importantly was that I hadn't gotten my mandatory 7 hour beauty sleep. 

That left me drained,... lacking the necessary energy to be genki and jovial and any other equally smiley adjective you can think of. 

And the shoot went brilliantly,... or more precisely, the banter that was had was brilliant and, as a result, the pictures came out pretty nice too. A bit more intimate than they would otherwise have been. 

I realized that I couldn't possibly expect something real and unfiltered if I myself were not real and unfiltered. People are wary animals, they feed off of one another and vibes are read. 

So you cant ask for something that you yourself are not prepared to give.

What I learned that day was that if you want real and intimate,... you have to put it out there first,... regardless of if it's your first ever meet or you've been shooting together for ages.

And if you're lucky,... they'll share their real and intimate with you,... and you'll get some, if not all, of it back,...

And you'll have made a new friend,...

And you'll walk home with a few rolls of memories that'll mean more to you than just a bunch of pretty pictures.